Conversations Inside My Head
by rosalice101
Summary: Me having a heart to heart with Carlisle... I don't really know why. WARNING- potential awkwardness, chances of second hand embarrassment, Bella might barge in, and coming to terms with the fact that I am in fact a Twilight Fan...


AN- I do things like this sometimes…  
>'Q' is me and 'A' is Carlisle.<br>Yes… please enjoy reading about me slowly losing my mind. And leave a review if you like it… I might do more of these because I write them on my blackberry anyway.

Conversations Inside My Head- Carlisle

Q. Hey Carlisle... How's it going?  
>A. Its going as well as it possibly can... I'm curious though, I know you write a lot of fanfiction, you hate twilight but you right about us a lot... But this is the first time that you've ever came to me for... Why are you here Rosalice101?<p>

Q. Ummm... I don't really know man... I just needed to talk to you today.  
>A. About?<p>

Q. I'll answer that question when I have an answer for it. Tell me something about yourself, we don't talk nearly as much as I'd like.  
>A. Hmm... I was under assumption that we didn't talk because you didn't like me.<p>

Q. Who told you that?!  
>A. Rosalie.<p>

Q. Dammit Rosie! That was confidential!  
>A. Yes Rosalie never quite hesitates from making public knowledge out of the fact that you consider her your muse and everything that you hate about all the other characters... Bella was traumatized when you published your latest piece.<p>

Q. Yeah... I hate Bella... No other way about it.  
>A. And you don't like me… Yet you write a fanfiction with Bella as lead and I'm here with you today... I find that very peculiar.<p>

Q. Okay... Let's just say that I'm having an existential crisis... Of sorts and it was either you, Bobby from supernatural or Dumbledore... I opted for the least drunk and most sane option.  
>A. Oh... I'm honored...<p>

Q. Don't be, I still don't like you... Can we please stop talking about me for like a minute...? I wanted to ask you some things... And then you can go to fiction land and I can go back to the real world.  
>A. Okay go!<p>

Q. Do you hate your life?  
>A. No I don't...<p>

Q. Seriously...? You are a vampire and you hate being a vampire... I mean doesn't that basically mean that you hate your life?  
>A. I have Esme, I have my family, I have absolutely no problems in my life... Why would I hate it... I've never actually said that I hated being a vampire... That's pre-Bella Edward... Don't tell him I said that. But yes... I hated the possibility of being a monster... I mean if you take a away the human eating part of Hannibal Lecter, he makes a pretty bad ass psychologist! If you know what I mean...<p>

Q. Er...  
>A. I was trying to be funny...<p>

Q. Yeah... But that was mostly disturbing.  
>A. I realize that now.<p>

Q. How do you do it... Why do you do it... I mean, its an eternity Carlisle... An eternity of denying yourself that one thing you really want.  
>A. ... Yes... Its an eternity, I realize that but don't you see that I have what I needs to make it through... I have people who love me... And yes even though we have to move around and we curb our diet... We have made a life for ourselves... Sure I miss out on somethings... But I have so much that others will never have... There is balance.<br>That one thing I really want has always been the same thing, becoming a vampire didn't change that... It was obstacle, which just led to more opportunities really.

Q. Damn... Don't tell me that the one thing you've always was to be captain compassion who plays doctor in the free time.  
>A. Okay first of all... I'm officially claiming the title of 'Captain Compassion' because I have always wanted to be a superhero, but never really had the stomach or the psyche of the murderous vigilante. Second of all No... I think what I've always wanted from life would be a place to be myself... and I did that... Even after the venom... I found a way. That's important.<p>

Q. Hmm...  
>A. Am I helping?<p>

Q. Yeah... Not really, I was gonna' present to you with my dilemma between choosing to do what I should be doing... And what I actually want to do. And you were supposed to tell me to man up and take responsibility but you went with the do what you want routine and now I'm confused.  
>A. You know... If you really didn't want to do what you think you 'should be doing' then you wouldn't care about what I said... I think I'll maintain what I said... Be Yourself.<p>

Q. I knew I should have talked about this with Gandalf... He's all about adventures...  
>A. Whatever you say sweetie. So... Can I ask you something?<p>

Q. What?  
>A. How can you not like twilight and still write and read so much fanfiction about it?<p>

Q. No.1- Vampires don't sparkle  
>No.2- alternate universe<br>No.3- crossovers are good  
>No.4- Best smut in the twilight fandom<br>No.5- seriously... Twilight is totally cool I just do not fucking like Bella!

Bella- WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!

Me- I don't know! I have issues... I have conversations with imaginary characters and then read about them having sex...!

Bella- ...

Carlisle- ...

Both- we better go...

Me- yeah you better go! I'LL WRITE A SMUT FIC ABOUT BOTH OF YOU AND ARO HAVING A THREESOME.

Yeah... They're gone...


End file.
